…but it wasn’t. Only Cheryl and Christian had some chemistry tonight. Lots of ultra tans, open chests and skimpy dresses couldn’t compensate for the lack of passion. We definitely missed Adam’s joker wicked sense of humor. And Marissa’s taking the place of the comedian of the pack did not satisfy our amusement cravings. I guess we will have to lose some sleep and endure Jimmy Kimmel Live at some point. On to the couples:
Competing against a deaf lady, Mario (pronounced poopee) asked for dancing tips from a blind guy. Dancing the samba, however it was too bad that Stevie Wonder could not see! A seeming natural, Mario started the show on a high note! And Karina really moved that scant Yellow—Big Bird—Basket! All about hips and hopes, Mario demonstrated that he dances in more than one way, richly heeding to Len’s admonishment that he should demonstrate that he can dance differently from week to week. A well deserved 27. Karina’s exhibited body seemed like it should have been in an exhibition of extreme spray tanning disorders.
Priscilla. Being aware now that lifts are a no-no, repented and contrite came to practice, somehow with her face looking better. Dancing the Rumba, that sensual slow Latin dance, she got down with that initial split, signaling a routine (and eventually a night) full of dance tricks. They planned a tough routine, in an especially tough slow dance for non-experts; it was a little shaky in the hard tricks, simply trying too hard. Unfortunately, the complicated choreography was not favorable to achieve a high score. We thought that the 21 was a bit generous and, at this stage, not good enough.
Marissa admittedly got to shake her tushie and other parts of her body in ways she had never before. Besides all the shimming, though, there was also some dancing going on. Tony really did an outstanding choreography job, his tall stature offset by his smartly bent knees, pairing well with Marissa. They do have a vertical challenge, don’t they? The judges were a little disparaging with all the fat jokes (“lots of bounce per ounce”? “bouncing like a beach ball”?), and we thought that she should have had more than last week, but with a 24 she should be safe.
Cristian and Cheryl are a dreamy couple indeed, as that Spanish telenovela sequence demonstrated. Again, a slow sensual Rumba but this time a lot more convincing. Cheryl is definitely an amazing instructor, actually making a dancer out of Cristian. But this dance (the Rumba) is definitely hard. Cristian stumbled and faltered but did not look as bad as Priscilla did. A 23 perhaps was almost unfair, but perhaps just a point shy from what we thought it should have been. By the way, Cheryl should expand her Spanish vocabulary: saying “si, si, si” all the time might get her in trouble.
In the preamble to her routine, Marlee’s handicap was truly and painfully obvious. Fabian struggled to communicate, and Marlee to respond. This Samba dance routine definitely was problematic, given her handicap. She obviously stumbled, had to wait for her partner’s signals, lost her synchronization at times, and definitely had a hard time. She looked great, though! Back cleavage with a rhinestone tattoo! Spirit and tenacity! Too bad this is a dancing competition and not a personality contest (altogether). The judges, and Bruno in particular, were a bit generous with the scores, giving her a 22.
Kristi had to try that hard Rumba with what she described as a young hot thing, and her two young daughters watching. Looking like a young hot thing herself she managed to give the best Rumba of the night, although her turnout is still obviously faltering. The tricks well performed and the sensuality convincing. Over 27 would have been fair, 30 would have not—we liked the 29! The oriental pacific pearl comment seemed almost non-PC—but that is a good thing about this show: it really is not PC and they do not seem to care.
The Kismet couple came next. Shannon’s little throw up from a few weeks ago seems to be contagious. Derek has pranced several times towards the hurling bucket, apparently. To the dancing: despite the glitter all over her body, tourmaline legs, and locks flying about, Shannon definitely did not shake her maracas enough. Lots of energy dissipated in the dancing with lots of panting at the end, Shannon seems like she needs to work a little on her endurance training. Definitely not her best. The weirdest judge comment of the night: Carrie Ann wanting to partner with Shannon? Ok, it was hard to tell whether Shannon was channeling Disney’s Esmeralda, Jasmine or Jack Sparrow, she being a self-confessed tomboy, but still…
Jason and Edyta danced the dreaded Rumba but, how can you disparage leggy Edyta? She was smart also, avoiding in her choreography the dance tricks for the Stars that all the other couples tried so hard to pull off—despite that crotch-and-foot-in-his-face-split that she did, not him (which obviously would have been disastrous). Again we disagree with the Judges, regarding Jason’s lines. He needs to work on his arms and shoulders!!! He can be so much more masculine in his movements if he just wouldn’t try to imitate Edyta. Edyta, please, he needs to see some real men dancing. Jason, please, pay attention to the other men in the show! He had a big score with that 27, and will be safe, but could be so much better! If he does not correct his attitude and posture he will not make it to the end… and we actually want him to.
When all is said and danced, even though this was supposed to be the sexiest night of the season a markedly lack of chemistry and hotness was all around. From what we saw, and given the judge’s scores, Marlee might be in the bottom two, but we think that Priscilla will not be able to lift herself out of this one.
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