DWTS: At last the mirrored ball is in her hands

Yesterday, after ten weeks, we reached the final steps of DWTS. Everyone was there again, some to show us why they left, some to make us wonder why they did. Highlights of the highlights: Adam once again brought a great spark of intelligent humor to the show, giving us the Patriotic take on DWTS: ‘this is why the terrorists hate us!’ Is he running for VP? A reprise of the best tango of the season: Priscilla’s. The most beautiful young couple (Shrek) doing their most beautiful fun dance, the quickstep, followed by Poopee and Karina showing us what a mambo is all about.
But the best dance numbers of the night belonged to Usher! Both of his numbers were outstanding. First, Usher was the closest thing to what Michael Jackson was in his day: a great singer and a great dancer. And for his second number he created quite an amazing choreography, a mix of Step, tap, quickstep and Hip Hop to an odd re-mix of his hit “Yeah!” Yeah to Usher!
We felt bad that Cristian left early but they were all winners, definitely. JT says he will dance again "for the right price"? Certainly his Touch Down dance will never be the same again! Kristi, as expected and deserved, won the mirrored ball.
DWTS is over for this season. SYTYCD starts on Thursday! Read our blog, all SYTYCD, at www.thedancefiles.com

DWTS: Finally the Finals!

After lots of spray tanning flowing downstream and down the drain our finalists are ready to show us what they’ve got and why they should be considered dancing stars, not just props in the hands of hard and hot bodied professionals.
The cha-cha face off gives us the final Latin taste of the season, and here is where we see the improvement, their transformation and the skill of each one clearly compared to the others. In a great and entertaining number all three stars dance one after the other.
After all the dancing, we believe that the most improved of all is Cristián, having found his Latin rhythm—remember he is from Chile, not exactly renowned as a “dancing country” among the Latin crowd. He was hot (pink) in the first number! For the second number, we enjoyed the samba, choreographed by Cheryl in a little more classical form than usual for the freestyle, except for all those one armed lifts. Question: Did the fact that they had no hip-hop moves affect the Judges’ comments? In the end, this show has been great for Cristián, because we all knew who JT is, and we also knew Olympian Kristi, but who really knew about Cristián before DWTS? He really has worked hard to be in the finals and whatever the results, he’s won. Sí!
Regardless of any previous experience as an ice skater, Kristi was the greatest transformation of the season. She got Bruno’s vote early in the dance off, by leaving lipstick under his nose starting the Cha-cha. But she was definitely dancing, not skating. Many will say “unfair” if she wins, because she was an “ice dancer” to start with. But she has demonstrated to us—and learned herself—the difference between ice skating and dancing. That jazz/hip-hop freestyle number was outstanding! The difficulty of the fast choreography and multiple lifts left the couple and the audience floored. Her personality did come through this time and we can see that she took Julianne’s advice to spread her legs and pointe her feet (though with those Converse on her feet, pointing seems pointless). She has the greatest chance to win this thing… because she IS dancing!
Jason’s arms were overshadowed once again by Edyta’s legs. She has a way of distracting our eyes, but still we did get to see that Jason has not improved as much as he should have. In the freestyle her Pocahontas costume distracts once again, and JT, not to get outdone has his shirt ripped off at the end! Len comments on all the eye candy in a way that shocks our brain with an image related to him and Jason we need to erase! This number is fun and better than the Paso from last time, with the amazing lifts and push & shoves this time a lot easier on the eyes than the rag-doll feeling we got that time. The hip-hop funk continues (from Kristi’s previous dance) more credible, less jazzy. But Edyta: you really should have taught JT what to do about those arms. Jason amrs always looked awkward, unnatural and, sorry, but not the way a man moves. Did JT never see how Derek moves? Or Mark? Or even Cristián (although his injury got in the way of posture at the end)?
Our prediction: For the greatest, and in the end most difficult, improvement in dancing technique and showtime personality: Kristi Yamaguchi. For coming out of nowhere and incredible transformation, first runner up: Cristián de la Fuente. And coming in third over all the rest of the competitors, and originally our personal favorite: Jason Taylor.

DWTS: Random Balls of Dances / Deliberate Acts of Dancing

Semifinals week, four couples left, one week left. The couples select their dances picking out little mirror balls out from a giant half of a Mirror ball (mistakenly referred to as a hat by Jason: is that what he wears on his dome?). This contrasts with what should be the intentional selection of final-worthy choreographies: the show tonight should be especially tough.

Jason makes a charge to end zone clicking his heels in the Fox Trot: a good attempt. Good flow, it looked good, with the occasional odd arms, in this case it seemed like he was trying for real. But when it came to his Latin dance, The Paso Doble, he looked stiff all over. What was Edyta’s thinking, trying to make him show off extensions that just were not there? The choreographed moves just made him look stiff and awkward. Edyta, having herself thrown around like a rag doll? Perhaps the “aggressiveness” that Len wanted went a little overboard: a little on the Frankenstein dance look, not looking effortless, not pretty, a little scary even. Paraphrasing Jason in his own comments afterward: it seems as if he doesn’t want to dance, but does it as an obligation. Training camp for the Dolphins has started, and DWTS has not ended... is he showing his priorities? I think he fumbled.

Love seeing Stacy Keibler once again giving tips and, okay, so that was weird: Len shaking his hips hotly with Marissa (and Marissa sliding her hands down). Marissa does deserve to be in the finals, great moves in the quick-step, as always a bit on the safe side: occasionally a slow-step instead. That rumba demonstrated what this show is all about. Her development since the show started is amazing! She pulled it off, slowly seductive moves that worked well. Carrie Ann did not care for this number, though; she even thought that it was not up to semifinal standards. Bruno, comparing Marissa to a locomotive—as always a little on the non-PC side—does bring to mind the little engine that could, or maybe not? The competition was hard tonight; her personality may carry her through even when her dancing may not. However, it seemed as if the judges have their own hidden agenda, and want Jason in the finals instead.

Good Viennese for the one armed dancer! He does look scared all the time, his mouth agape even since before his injury. But maybe we were looking for something more risqué in this one: there did not seem to be that much “chemistry” going on. What happened? His Samba, though, was outstanding! No arm troubles here. His scared face once again does make him look a little intimidated…. by Cheryl’s hot moves? or by the possibility of re-injuring his arm? Regardless of his “Mask” expression and oversized dental veneers, shirtless Cristian should make it to the finals! We like it when he talks, but when he dances: can he please keep his mouth closed?

For Kristi it seems as if the Tango is hard emotionally: a dance that has to show seduction between two people that do not care about each other, except in a professional sex-trade way. She has to seduce, but does not care. He has to seduce but does not care. Success in making it come together in the end is hard. Kristi tried, but was not quite convincing enough in this department. However the technical aspect in this dance is so far removed from ice skating that this time you could see some real dance moves from her. Not perfect but close. What we loved about Kristi this week is that she wasn’t ice skating any more (except for that little slide in the jive). Truly this was her best night to show and demonstrate improvement. She is dancing; she is going to the finals.

The votes really count tonight, and we may be wrong for the second time this season, but if all is fair and we want to see some entertaining dances in the final of DWTS, these will include Kristi, Cristian and Marissa toe to toe. Sorry Jason: back to training camp. Jason, when Balanchine said: “I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance,” this is not what he meant.

Dancing With the Stars Lifts Galore: Bottoms up!

The semi-semi final saw a bit of a change in the rules, with lifts being allowed. Priscilla would have had an advantage this week because she just walks on the floor with several lifts already. But let us talk about our couples. At this point personality is what starts making the votes count. All contestants have demonstrated dancing capabilities. A little flare for drama and the unexpected goes a long way today. Personality plus technique is what counts tonight.

Kristi Yamaguchi’s first number was nearly flawless technically, and she knows how to woo a judging panel. Shades of Ethel Merman’s hands start showing and somehow appear again with Marissa’s number. Kristi’s second number includes a lot of ice skating without the skates, including some on the spot spins that Marissa also does. The hands, the spin… was Marissa spying? Once again, Kristi’s complicated routines looked, however, effortless, as the accomplished artist she is. Kristi takes advantage of her strengths, but has not shown as much development as Mario, for example. And it seems as her strength is also her weakness: Her obvious technical advantage places her high technically, but low in viewers’ hearts. Her low scores tonight also place her in danger. Technique rating: 9.5 impressive! Personality rating: 6.5 a bit too much of a nice girl.

When Mario did that lift of Karina the first time it was amazing. I think Carrie Ann liked Mario’s stiff this time, and Len’s initial comment makes us wonder: how many times has he seen Britney Spears getting out of a Limo? Odd comment… Britney is probably not going to watch the show anymore. When Mario repeated the almost exact same lift in his second number (granted, with a little over the head twist) it looked as if we had seen it before (about ten minutes ago!) Give me a break, the anticipation and buildup was greater than the delivery. The bit in the swimming pool was also déjà vu all over again, Karina trying to show off in a bikini after Cheryl already did it. Mario had a lot of missteps in his second number, Karina eying him all the time to make sure he was getting it right. Mario will be lucky if he stays out of the bottom two. Technique rating: 8.2 stiff and not at the same time, a little too much of the same. Personality rating: 7.5 of a brazen hip hop youth.

Marissa can do sexyyyyy! Both her numbers were safe, but her second one was hot! Marissa is the underdog tonight, and she knows it. She brings out the smiles, the fun and the charm. She ain’t a size two, but she sure can make us fluster. She has become the heart of what this show is all about but, were they sneaking at Kristi’s rehearsals? The hands? The “pepper pot” at the end? Technique rating: 6.5 for some copy-catting and little risk taking; Personality rating: a Bruno’s dirty TEN! (despite Len’s comment that she should be sleazier).

Jason has fans but Len is not among his most devoted tonight. The judges’ table was polarized, with Len’s geography a little off, what with his problem in the dance being that what he saw was a Tango from Argentina, nonetheless! Carrie Ann said that Bruno was possessed, given his sharp reaction against Len. Personally, the first dance did seem like a great routine, but wardrobe was not up to par, despite Edyta’s near state of undress that drew most of the focus of the dances to her. Both of the dancers in the same shade of dark in that first number made them blend rather than clash, as the choreography suggested. Edyta’s dress should always be red. Carrie Ann did mention new shades and colors in the competition perhaps reflecting Jason’s new (spray) tan (was that really necessary?) and whitened teeth (reminded us of Ross’ from Friends). The first routine was almost perfect: the expressions, the choreography, the movements. Great! Jason has charisma and star power and in this number he showed why he is the one to beat. In the second number he really did not do well, perhaps trying to hold off: afraid of looking too gay? Techinque 7.9 (well executed lifts, lousy samba); Personality 9.5 for taking lunches with Denzel Washington and Al Pacino.

The one armed dancer and his partner Cheryl come in trying to play the sympathy card. Once again not in good graces with the wardrobe department in that first number, although the reference to “the gloved one” (Michael Jackson) in relation to Cristian’s injury was kind of funny. But what, no Moon Walking? Cristian uses the injury, clearly detailed in scary-CSI detail so that skeptics will believe, to try and play up the athlete angle: Remember more athletes have won DWTS than entertainers. No Pain no gain, no ten no gain, no Len no Mirror Ball… His pain was apparent from our camera angle almost as much as his spray tan. Although the judges say they did not see his pained face, will our seeing it garner votes? Cheryl peering through a feather duster (Tom does have a way with words) is not a good sign of things to come in that department. The mambo was a show stopper, not gay at all (Jason, take note), biggest pleasant surprise of the night. Technique: 8.9 for the second number, Personality 7.5 improved substantially this week.

Only five couples left, next week is the semi finals and tomorrow is the 100th show. DWTS is a guilty pleasure, a high rated program that used to go under the radar in most popular entertainment news, but has always been really funny. The fake drama, including padded butts getting kicked out as they cry, the light comedy, the innuendo and the paso-double meanings, make us want to watch the show… all… the… way! This Monday Night the finish line is in sight, the line of scrimmage set, and a touchdown seems almost inevitable.

PS: Mario and Marissa in the bottom two, a tossup between both: Mario will not be making lifts tonight. A possible big upset, however, could be Kristi skating away.

Double Trouble Dancing with The Stars

Marissa’s sexy woman gave us a mixed rumb-ango tonight. Her first number, the tango, we thought was very well executed, passionate and credible. Great dancing routine and choreography! The 27 was a little low in our view, however. And then came “Cuando cuando cuando…” and we thought, cuando (when) is she going to feel more confident? This was a slow boring hot latin dance. Not dirty rumba, not sexy rumba… a boring rumba. Technically, it was alright, but in personality (or lack of it) a reminder of weeks past. Nothing exciting here, nothing that really makes us want to see more of Marissa. She seems to have such a great personality, bubbly, always with a smile and a good feeling. This dance was not quite a match to others in this competition. However, Cristian’s injury may save Marissa from elimination tonight.

The South American Clark Gable, Cristian, was so elegant. He was flawless at the Viennese Waltz! And he was finally showing his personality also, looking more comfortable at it. We have come to like him a lot. Their hot latin dance looked like it was going to be fun, and then, what the…?!! The injury!! He truly looked in pain. But it is too bad, because he wasn’t that popular to begin with. We think he’ll be out. Cheryl’s a great trainer; no doubt, she can make a clean dancer out of anybody. But Cristian won’t be saved…

No much to say about Kristi, except that she’s doing a lot of Ice Skating moves. Their Hip Hop and Latin combo was great! An obvious generational gap between Len and Bruno and Carrie Ann, reflected in the score. Two hip judges and one cranky pant! (so says Tom Bergeron). Their dances were creative, cool and beautiful, and they will certainly stay another week.

Mario and Karina. We think they were really good last night. Their Fox Trot was a little messy at times, stiff in the beginning with odd arms. The judges’ comments did not have a very good tone. They almost sounded as if they did not think he would make it to next week. And their scores were low, especially at this stage of the game. Mario’s Mambo King! What else can we say… he was good, Great technical skill almost invisibly effortless in its perfection, as the fun went on. A very unfair 27!!! Was this the same as Shannon and Derek’s tango? A 27! No way!

Shannon aggressively slaps Derek and it all goes downhill from there. Torture and unpleasant b… (again, Tom’s words) of a dance, we did not agree with Bruno. It was not easy on the eyes. Carrie Ann is off, and so is Len. We have to watch it again because, truly, it was not fun to watch. The score of 27 as a technical reward, perhaps? Or perhaps the judges didn’t want to hear Derek and Shannon complaining again of bias against them? Well, tonight it seemed that they were positively biased towards them… The second time around, Shannon once again is dancing as if in “High School Recital” (a yet to be made for TV Disney movie): “Look at me Mama, I’m dancin’!!” No matter the fake butt, Shannon was stiff and THERE WAS NO HIP ACTION. This 24 was a lot better deserved than the earlier 27. At the beginning of this show, we kind of liked Shannon, but now, she seems more and more a spoiled little girl (or tall tomboy, whatever…). Maybe that’s why she’s had a hard time with her movie career?...

Jason and Edyta started off very quick and dynamic, Jason doing the drums thing and then jumping over Edyta in a spectacular way. His arms were better and both in the holding and in the separate the coordination was almost impeccable. A fun dance, quite the contrast with the one before (Shannon’s)… Perhaps ending with him on top is not quite PG-13, especially for a married man, but we all are grownup old codgers watching this show, aren’t we? A score of 29 was perfect for this dance. And then Jason and the NFL Monday Night Football theme! Is he going for the votes or what? At first we thought, great, this is going to be the Encore dance, but then something was missing, and they got a low 24 for it.

Who would do the Encore tonight? If Cristian is alright, they’ll probably do that one (to be nice, as they always are). If not, then we think Marissa’s Waltz or Mario’s Mambo. Who would be out? Cristian unfortunately, because of the low scores, his lack of popularity to begin with, and the fact that some viewers thought (unfairly, of course) that he was faking it (read at abc’s blogs).

Dancing with the stars: A night of turn arounds, turnouts, turns and turn-ons!

Only one more month and it will all be over. At this point, we can evaluate the season and say “it has been good”. From the top of the balcony, Tom and Samantha greet us and bring out the stars. Mario (pronounced “poopee”) already has his tie undone and we are reminded of how good an (Academy award winning) actress Marlee Matlin is!

Jason dances like an airplane (big and light at the same time), keeping his arms splayed out, doing a very sexy hot cha cha that should get lots of votes. A great lift (not penalized!), spun around Edyta and showed a lot of fun all around. At 24, the judges were fair, given his footwork.

Shannon’s true colors did not show: she needed to point her feet in this gentle choreography and her hips truly did not move at all, but she did had some good leg extensions. And her legs do sell! And she looked gorgeous with her partner, Derek, who’s even more gorgeous! Is Derek getting too distracted with their “trying to get into character” and not helping her improve on dancing technique? Well, we liked this couple and wanted to see them go all the way, but it seems unlikely they will be in the finals.

Marlee had another fast Latin dance tonight, with the mambo King no less, and a pep speech from the Fonz! Despite that, and regrettably, we do believe her limit has been reached. Stop and go dancing at this stage of the competition is just not good enough. She is an amazing and courageous personality and star, but cannot make the grade at this level of dancing. The choreography made her look as if she was a puppet being manipulated, not an especially good feeling. Her low score reflects on the dancing, not on her Star power. We believe that she will be out tonight.

Frederico Astaire was next, with Cheryl saying “no, no, no!” to his first Fox Trotty attempts. Good for Cheryl learning more Spanish (even without realizing it!). And how creative that pool rehearsal technique! Cheryl proved one more time that she’s an amazing instructor. Their efforts paid off with a beautiful choreography and this was a complete turn around for Cristian. Cristian and Cheryl shouldn’t have any trouble staying tonight, except for Len’s threat to moon us all in the supermarket if Cristian is in the bottom two. Would people not vote for Christian hoping Len’s will have to follow through with his bet? We hope not, and have no desire to see Len’s bottom two! Remember you can vote online until noon today Tuesday.

Princess Marissa seems always a bit dizzy even without the spinning. We liked this dance, which had some beautiful lines and turns. Tony did the best he could with Marissa, and he was wonderful as always. However, there were some awful lines also, with Marissa’s feet always sticking out flat. The awful song choice by the producers, the cover of Tom Jones’ Delilah, did make us wonder why, why, why Marissa? Her feet were not pointing (it is amazing how much better it would have looked if she had made that effort) and her final floor spin kinda crashed. Altogether, we did not think (despite the judges’ comments and scores) that this was such a great performance. It was pretty, but was it really better than Jason’s or Cristian’s? We do like her when she smiles though.

Kristy’s dance should be repeated in the results show. It was fun, they had fun, and it showed. At times her turnout still faltered but she obviously worked on it. We learned tonight that she had club feet as a child. Her professional achievements and efforts are even more commendable, given the condition.

As Mario (pronounced “poopee”) strutted towards Karina unbuttoning his shirt we knew this would be a hot dance. Bruno called Len a (bleep) and Carrie Anne got seriously turned on, saying it was better than (bleep, bleep). This was definitely a hot one. Bruno even got bleeped (about something about eating -bleep--bleep--??)! The dancing was good, the entertainment value was good. The penalized lift and Len’s prudishness got them a 28 that could have been a 30.

Marissa said the hoe down at the ballroom corral could go either way… it did. Tricks, cartwheels and lifts, many of them unsuccessful. Jason the Airplane and Mario’s (pronounced “poopee’s) were probably the most showy. Not much to say otherwise.

Week Five! Four more ‘til the finals… the votes may save Marissa, Shannon could be down there, but Marlee will sign off tomorrow.

Horror down Roxanne’s Alley.

Wardrobe dept was really against all the women tonight! From Christine’s wig, to Shannon’s dress, to Kristy’s Betty-Boopish hairstyle, it seems as Adam’s comment that someone upstairs in the Wardrobe department had it against the women may be on target. The innuendo regarding the hotness all around was also in high gear tonight. But let us comment on the dancing.

Marlee Matlin was great! Her jive did make her seem light on her feet. She wants to win! We want to see her a lot further. Good kicks, good moves, great expressions. Her shoulders seem to not always be right, but she can certainly improve that too!

Steve Guttenberg came out to dance, and it almost seemed that he came out, period! Anna Trebinskaya was sick, and her husband made Steve get some manly moves. A couple that worked, but we hope not the beginning of a trend. Steve looked a little mad to be dancing with Anna, more than the aggressive Tango warranted. He did well, however, despite the fact that Anna did not seem pleased by his comments. Chemical fallout in the future?

Christian de la Fuente got to partner with a Sea Lion, the oddest couple by far. Well, as we said last week, he was not relating to Cheryl, so we guess she was sending him a message: “You are not dancing with a fat barking loudmouth with fish breath! Either you look at me and smile or you go back to the icy water!” He listened. It was much better. Incredible energy, he related, he smiled, he danced, and we all had fun. It was good. Like Cheryl said: “si, si, si!”

Mario’s schedule evidently took a toll on his Tango dancing. Five cities in five days or so, it showed on the show. Knees seemed to knock, feet flew in different directions when they should not have. That dreadful version of Roxanne by the band did not help either! Step it up Mario! Take it seriously and have some dance fun. His expression was better than Steve’s though. And Bruno likes him!

Shannon Elizabeth must have one of the worst dresses ever, hiding all that she is about, highlighting instead her middle in a fat sort of way. She did kick some out there, though. Again, a great choreography set up by Derek (these Hough kids are smart!), enough to bring them both down to the floor. I guess after last season’s scare and fall by Marie Osmond, the stars have been told to sit if they have to! Tom Bergeron seemed to like it a bit and got flustered also, even when he wasn’t kicking it up! A 900 number Tom?

Adam Carolla came out dancing. Not the best Tango but commendable. He is not getting any votes from Utah, or the gay vote either! He is too wickedly funny to leave us soon: pimps and prostitutes? “This chick can dance”? (referring to himself). An entertainer he is, lets hope he can dance on for a few more weeks. Re Julianne’s horror makeup, dress and wig: eeww!

Marissa Jaret Winokur was mechanical, and seems to have low self-esteem. She looked like she was going to cry when judged. But really, the number was not challenging, low energy, it did not exploit her personality. She may be the one to go this week. Actually, she should be the one gone.

Priscilla Presley’s dress at first seemed like it was from a costume shop in Transylvania, but it worked! Her stiffened face belies her flexible attitude. She needs to keep her butt in a little: straighten up lady! Before she danced we thought she might be a candidate for leaving. She is not! Great performance. With Len’s comment to Priscilla regarding that “he approached you and you swatted him away as if saying ‘don’t touch what you cannot afford’” he capped the storyline regarding P&Ps, 900 numbers and Mormon teachings…

What happened, Jason Taylor? The Jive is supposed to be fast, but we suppose if you are that big, fast movements look as if they are in slow motion. It is not about dance, stop, pose, dance, stop, pose. No matter how gorgeous you are! It’s about dance, dance, dance! We guess the pose part is what Bruno was referring to when he said he has ballet lines. He is not leaving, but he has to kick it up a notch.

Not much to say about Kristy Yamaguchi. Safe (too safe?), clean (too clean?). We hated the hair but loved, LOVED, the shoes! Read rhinestones all over! As wicked as Adam Carolla!

Adam really cannot dance much, but he’s so much fun that makes up for it. Please, keep him! And Steven should also stay. But please don't have them both, Adam and Steven, dancing together... Or maybe do! If it's for the good of the show, we will take it! Marissa should be out tonight.